Are you feeling apprehensive about your little one starting primary school in September? Juliet Richards from The Parent Team joined the Dukes Club to talk about how positive parenting techniques can prepare you and your child for this transition.
Starting ‘big’ school is such a significant milestone in both a parent and a child’s life. We look forward to it, but it is also scary. Juliet shared how a recent survey by Fairy non-bio revealed that mums are far more likely to have a wobble at the first drop off than children are. But it is also a challenging time for children too, and they have a lot of emotions we need to help them navigate.
Not everybody has the best first day at school but Juliet encourages parents to remember that this is just a day, and we have 2,662 more pickups and drop offs to look forward to during our child’s school career. But we can help our child prepare for this big day and in this workshop, she delves into four key ways we can do so.
Be realistic and understand not only your child’s temperament, but also where they are in their neurological development and their cognitive ability. Juliet explains how at this age, a child’s limbic system (the part of the brain concerned with emotions, senses, fight and flight responses and key drivers) is five times faster than their pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain concerned with thinking, planning and waiting) and why this means we should be prepared for super tired, super wired and super challenging four-year-olds in the first few weeks of school. She reminds us not to panic, to take a breath and most importantly – don’t forget the after school snack!
Get school ready! Juliet encourages parents to remember that there is already so much we are doing to ready our children for this change and shares a few ideas of things we can practise with our child before the big day. Whether it’s practising getting dressed, talking about your meeting with the teacher, or perfecting the all important ‘goodbye ritual’, the key thing to remember is to keep it light, fun and playful.
Help with feelings by becoming an emotion coach for your child. Thanks to their dominant limbic system, children have a lot of emotions and don’t always know how to deal with them. As parents it is not our job to remove or change those feelings, it is our job to recognise, tolerate and manage them. Juliet talks us through how to deal with statements like ‘school is boring, there’s not enough playtime’ and ‘I hate this uniform.. it’s scratchy and hot.’.
Growing confidence through descriptive praise. We know that confident children are more willing to try things and have a more resilient attitude – so how do we nurture this? We can build their confidence by helping them develop new skills through play and acknowledge their feelings by being an emotion coach. We can also give them positive feedback about their effort, their attempts and their progress. We all say, “Well done!” or “You’re amazing!” if our child does something well, but Juliet encourages us to add a description to our praise highlighting the what, where, when and how.
To summarise, parents can do so much over the next few months to help their children have the best possible first day in September. Juliet reminds us to play with our children and make sure we have lots of fun with them over the summer. In the above mentioned Fairy non-bio survey, parents were asked what they wish they had done differently in the first few years of their child’s life, and the overwhelming response was that would have done more fun things with their child.
Watch the webinar below for Juliet’s full workshop. Dukes Club members can also claim a 25% discount on The Parent Team’s Positive Parenting Course in October using code DUK25